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philosoraptor42While "The Mangler" is possibly Tobe Hooper's least well-received film I felt that had some remote level of charm (at least in the final moments).
Below are the films I think showcase Tobe Hooper's worst ever work.
Why is "John Carpenter's Body Bags" included here? Well while I absolutely loved that movie, Tobe Hooper's contribution to it was utterly dire.
14. Body Bags (1993)
This was a special treat since it was a film that really ought to been in my Carpenter/Cronenberg marathon. Two out of the three short films are directed by John Carpenter, but also John Carpenter actually does the in-between sections himself!
Now one might easily imagine that John Carpenter shouldn't really be trying to act in his own movie. He's a great director, but he's not ever played any acting roles in any of his other films. However, in this role he doesn't have to react to anyone else. He's a strange man alone in the morgue drinking formaldehyde out of a cocktail glass. Carpenter gives such an enthusiastic, hyperactive and wonderfully eccentric performance that I wonder whether his sections weren't my favourite part of the film.
The first of the three short films is "The Gas Station". Though it takes the form of a pretty typical slasher film, we follow a young woman working in the booth for a petrol station so the whole set up is that being in the booth will keep her safe from anything bad taking place outside. As such, whenever she has to leave the booth, we become worried about her.
"The Gas Station" has the horror directors Wes Craven and Sam Raimi guest starring, which is kind of cool. The story is simple but effective and I didn't feel like the heroine of the story was an idiot. I enjoyed this a lot. Sometimes slasher movies done well can be really satisfying (see the "Cold Prey" movies for some great examples of this).
The second short film, also directed by Carpenter, is "Hair". A man suffering from hair loss and finding it is severely affecting his self-image, in spite of protestations from his girlfriend, experiments with a miraculous hair growing treatment. Admittedly this story is much more comedy than horror, but when you are in tears of laughter it is difficult to care.
It's pretty clear from the start that the people offering the hair treatment do not simply wish the best for their clients (particular considering that the main salesman is played by none other than 'the evil one' from "Time Bandits", David Warner).
The third and final short film, called "Eye", is directed by Tobe Hooper and it's a real stinker. I don't think the blame can be placed on Mark Hamill who plays the protagonist since I think he puts his all into the role. I just think the story is a little too obvious and far too slow paced.
Mark Hamill's character gets an eye transplant and then starts seeing bizarre things as a result. On the one hand, I might be tempted to compare this to the old fashioned stance of "The Brain That Wouldn't Die" where simple organ transplants are viewed by the morally upstanding doctor as, essentially, the work of the devil. However, I have to admit that the movie "The Eye" from the Pang Brothers also has bad things happening and with a similar rationale behind it.
That being said, if the issue was that the original owner of the eye was somehow supernatural, or perhaps they dabbled in the occult or something, I would have liked some more focus on that side of things. This short movie ends up feeling more like it's trying to make us scared of eye transplants themselves and it just feels rather stupid as a result.
It takes a long long time before we get to find out who the donor is and how the weird visions and behaviour experienced by Mark Hamill's protagonist are connected. However, when this happens it's feels like it's spelled out far too completely considering that the audience could see this coming a mile off.
The story could easily have been more subtle. The main character was a professional sportsman, so he needed two eyes to be successful in his work. Might be not choose to accept the effects of the eye out of greed? Might there not be some real conflict there? Instead the story ends up feeling more like an all-out possession with a clear distinction between the protagonist's character and the character of the owner of the eye. Meanwhile the entire theme of the story was signposted so much you could see it from space.
There's often a Bible in various scenes and while initially it seems to be suggested that perhaps eye transplants are "playing God", it's actually setting up for a particular Bible verse. I wonder whether this isn't another case where Tobe Hooper's sense of humour isn't always conveyed to the audience terribly well. If you don't mind spoiling this gag, you can check out the Bible verse: Mark 9:47.
Once Tobe Hooper's slow paced eye transplant story is over, there is still one thing left to look forward to. John Carpenter has a final wraparound section at the end and it's a great finisher for the movie. It would have helped, however, if I didn't have a bad taste in my mouth from Tobe Hooper's dud film beforehand.
Body Bags is great fun for the most part and deserves comparisons with "Creepshow". Unfortunately only two of the three films work. Ironically, considering I'm reviewing this as part of a Tobe Hooper marathon, it is Tobe Hooper's section which really lets this down. Still I don't think I should allow that section to detract too much from my score when I enjoyed all the other sections so much. This is well worth checking out. "Gas Station" is a well-made creepy slasher, "Hair" is a hilarious horror comedy, and John Carpenter's monologues in the wraparound sections are absolutely inspired. Love it!
B+
Our main protagonist in the modern day, however, isn't Marquis de Sade's descendant, but rather a young girl visiting her father. Her father is a fundamentalist Christian involved in archaeological digs for gnostic relics in Saudi Arabia. While the daughter is discovering her sexual feelings, a local cult (or swingers group, this is unclear) with links to the Marquis de Sade is encouraging her to indulge those passions.
All you straight ladies out there. Apparently this is what you'll dream about if you read enough works by de Sade.
Masters Of Horror episodes (16 & 17)
As with John Carpenter, Tobe Hooper has his own short films made for the Masters Of Horror series. Unfortunately they really do not represent his best work. In fact they represent some of the worst work of his entire career!
17. Dance Of The Dead (2005)
There's something very abstract about a lot of this film and not in a good way. It becomes very hard to believe this is a real place. On the one hand it seems to be set in a future where zombies exist and on the other hand older teenagers seem to be able to freely drive wherever they want down empty highways at night. Consider me utterly confused.
Anyway, it turns out that a sleazy club offers its customers the opportunity to watch zombies dance from being given electric shocks. This shocking display is apparently highly appealing to them. Once again, I have no idea why.
Seemingly because there wasn't remotely enough material here to fill a one hour short film, there's a long dull sequence where the uncouth older teenagers all decide to get off their heads on drugs while driving (and with no negative consequences) and so we get to see some fairly dull attempts at psychedelic camera effects.
No one comes off very well in the acting department including Robert Englund who plays the owner and main performer at the sleazy club. I had absolutely no idea why this group of wild hedonists would be interested in watching him talk, never mind watching dead people be electrocuted.
Weird and boring. Not a great combination. This is the worst thing Tobe Hooper has ever made.
E-
16. The Damned Thing (2006)
I'm reviewing this second because it was the second of these episodes to be made, but it was slightly better than Dance of the Dead in that it had a pretty cool opening sequence. A family are getting along pretty well and there's some decent characterisation going on. Then suddenly the father of the family gets some kind of black sludge drip on him and he goes mad and decides to kill his wife and son. Eventually he ends up being torn apart by some unknown force while his surviving son hides in a tree.
At this point we flash forward in time and now suddenly nobody really feels like a real person anymore. Naturally our protagonist, the grown-up version of the surviving son in the opening sequence, is disturbed by what happened when he was young. He has an expensive (and malfunctioning) security system set up all around his house, yet he is still unable to explain why he doesn't just leave that old house (since it's still his parents' house) entirely.
Some bogus explanation for the black sludge seems to connect it with some kind of oil frenzy in the past. This made very little sense to me. Perhaps it's a symbol for the way greed can affect people psychologically, but it only seems to work as "sludge which sends people psycho".
After some initial cases of random people killing themselves violently, we get to a situation where everybody in the town has gone mad and people are killing each other left and right. The protagonist starts going mental too. At this point I cannot even remember what happened at the very end of this short film because by that stage I just did not care.
Seriously, what was Hooper trying to do with this story?
E-
Below are the films I think showcase Tobe Hooper's worst ever work.
Why is "John Carpenter's Body Bags" included here? Well while I absolutely loved that movie, Tobe Hooper's contribution to it was utterly dire.
14. Body Bags (1993)
This was a special treat since it was a film that really ought to been in my Carpenter/Cronenberg marathon. Two out of the three short films are directed by John Carpenter, but also John Carpenter actually does the in-between sections himself!
Now one might easily imagine that John Carpenter shouldn't really be trying to act in his own movie. He's a great director, but he's not ever played any acting roles in any of his other films. However, in this role he doesn't have to react to anyone else. He's a strange man alone in the morgue drinking formaldehyde out of a cocktail glass. Carpenter gives such an enthusiastic, hyperactive and wonderfully eccentric performance that I wonder whether his sections weren't my favourite part of the film.
The first of the three short films is "The Gas Station". Though it takes the form of a pretty typical slasher film, we follow a young woman working in the booth for a petrol station so the whole set up is that being in the booth will keep her safe from anything bad taking place outside. As such, whenever she has to leave the booth, we become worried about her.
"The Gas Station" has the horror directors Wes Craven and Sam Raimi guest starring, which is kind of cool. The story is simple but effective and I didn't feel like the heroine of the story was an idiot. I enjoyed this a lot. Sometimes slasher movies done well can be really satisfying (see the "Cold Prey" movies for some great examples of this).
The second short film, also directed by Carpenter, is "Hair". A man suffering from hair loss and finding it is severely affecting his self-image, in spite of protestations from his girlfriend, experiments with a miraculous hair growing treatment. Admittedly this story is much more comedy than horror, but when you are in tears of laughter it is difficult to care.
It's pretty clear from the start that the people offering the hair treatment do not simply wish the best for their clients (particular considering that the main salesman is played by none other than 'the evil one' from "Time Bandits", David Warner).
The third and final short film, called "Eye", is directed by Tobe Hooper and it's a real stinker. I don't think the blame can be placed on Mark Hamill who plays the protagonist since I think he puts his all into the role. I just think the story is a little too obvious and far too slow paced.
Mark Hamill's character gets an eye transplant and then starts seeing bizarre things as a result. On the one hand, I might be tempted to compare this to the old fashioned stance of "The Brain That Wouldn't Die" where simple organ transplants are viewed by the morally upstanding doctor as, essentially, the work of the devil. However, I have to admit that the movie "The Eye" from the Pang Brothers also has bad things happening and with a similar rationale behind it.
That being said, if the issue was that the original owner of the eye was somehow supernatural, or perhaps they dabbled in the occult or something, I would have liked some more focus on that side of things. This short movie ends up feeling more like it's trying to make us scared of eye transplants themselves and it just feels rather stupid as a result.
It takes a long long time before we get to find out who the donor is and how the weird visions and behaviour experienced by Mark Hamill's protagonist are connected. However, when this happens it's feels like it's spelled out far too completely considering that the audience could see this coming a mile off.
The story could easily have been more subtle. The main character was a professional sportsman, so he needed two eyes to be successful in his work. Might be not choose to accept the effects of the eye out of greed? Might there not be some real conflict there? Instead the story ends up feeling more like an all-out possession with a clear distinction between the protagonist's character and the character of the owner of the eye. Meanwhile the entire theme of the story was signposted so much you could see it from space.
There's often a Bible in various scenes and while initially it seems to be suggested that perhaps eye transplants are "playing God", it's actually setting up for a particular Bible verse. I wonder whether this isn't another case where Tobe Hooper's sense of humour isn't always conveyed to the audience terribly well. If you don't mind spoiling this gag, you can check out the Bible verse: Mark 9:47.
Once Tobe Hooper's slow paced eye transplant story is over, there is still one thing left to look forward to. John Carpenter has a final wraparound section at the end and it's a great finisher for the movie. It would have helped, however, if I didn't have a bad taste in my mouth from Tobe Hooper's dud film beforehand.
Body Bags is great fun for the most part and deserves comparisons with "Creepshow". Unfortunately only two of the three films work. Ironically, considering I'm reviewing this as part of a Tobe Hooper marathon, it is Tobe Hooper's section which really lets this down. Still I don't think I should allow that section to detract too much from my score when I enjoyed all the other sections so much. This is well worth checking out. "Gas Station" is a well-made creepy slasher, "Hair" is a hilarious horror comedy, and John Carpenter's monologues in the wraparound sections are absolutely inspired. Love it!
B+
15. Night Terrors (1995)
Robert Englund appears in the background throughout the film as the Marquis de Sade, as well as de Sade's modern descendant. Oddly, it seems that the identical descendant of an upper class frenchman is an American living in the middle east.
Our main protagonist in the modern day, however, isn't Marquis de Sade's descendant, but rather a young girl visiting her father. Her father is a fundamentalist Christian involved in archaeological digs for gnostic relics in Saudi Arabia. While the daughter is discovering her sexual feelings, a local cult (or swingers group, this is unclear) with links to the Marquis de Sade is encouraging her to indulge those passions.
All you straight ladies out there. Apparently this is what you'll dream about if you read enough works by de Sade.
We seem to be expected to accept some kind of connection between de Sade and the gnostics, to accept that the gnostics worship some kind of mermaid deity, and to accept that de Sade was evil. Personally, I wasn't convinced by any of it, and this was another Hooper film that felt distinctly lacking in a sense of humour about it's ultra-daft premise.
The biggest problem is that the film feels so long and is just so utterly boring. Tobe Hooper seems quite keen to maintain a more moderate pace in his films, but normally there is plenty to interest me. Here everything was so extraordinarily convoluted, it was unbearable. On top of that, the acting was horrible all round. This movie was simply ghastly.
E-
Masters Of Horror episodes (16 & 17)
As with John Carpenter, Tobe Hooper has his own short films made for the Masters Of Horror series. Unfortunately they really do not represent his best work. In fact they represent some of the worst work of his entire career!
17. Dance Of The Dead (2005)
There's something very abstract about a lot of this film and not in a good way. It becomes very hard to believe this is a real place. On the one hand it seems to be set in a future where zombies exist and on the other hand older teenagers seem to be able to freely drive wherever they want down empty highways at night. Consider me utterly confused.
Anyway, it turns out that a sleazy club offers its customers the opportunity to watch zombies dance from being given electric shocks. This shocking display is apparently highly appealing to them. Once again, I have no idea why.
Seemingly because there wasn't remotely enough material here to fill a one hour short film, there's a long dull sequence where the uncouth older teenagers all decide to get off their heads on drugs while driving (and with no negative consequences) and so we get to see some fairly dull attempts at psychedelic camera effects.
No one comes off very well in the acting department including Robert Englund who plays the owner and main performer at the sleazy club. I had absolutely no idea why this group of wild hedonists would be interested in watching him talk, never mind watching dead people be electrocuted.
Weird and boring. Not a great combination. This is the worst thing Tobe Hooper has ever made.
E-
16. The Damned Thing (2006)
I'm reviewing this second because it was the second of these episodes to be made, but it was slightly better than Dance of the Dead in that it had a pretty cool opening sequence. A family are getting along pretty well and there's some decent characterisation going on. Then suddenly the father of the family gets some kind of black sludge drip on him and he goes mad and decides to kill his wife and son. Eventually he ends up being torn apart by some unknown force while his surviving son hides in a tree.
At this point we flash forward in time and now suddenly nobody really feels like a real person anymore. Naturally our protagonist, the grown-up version of the surviving son in the opening sequence, is disturbed by what happened when he was young. He has an expensive (and malfunctioning) security system set up all around his house, yet he is still unable to explain why he doesn't just leave that old house (since it's still his parents' house) entirely.
Some bogus explanation for the black sludge seems to connect it with some kind of oil frenzy in the past. This made very little sense to me. Perhaps it's a symbol for the way greed can affect people psychologically, but it only seems to work as "sludge which sends people psycho".
After some initial cases of random people killing themselves violently, we get to a situation where everybody in the town has gone mad and people are killing each other left and right. The protagonist starts going mental too. At this point I cannot even remember what happened at the very end of this short film because by that stage I just did not care.
Seriously, what was Hooper trying to do with this story?
E-
