philosoraptor42 | Best Of April Fools (Updated)

New Halo Movie... with a twist!

Video originally found here.

Swedish Symphonic Metal Band Therion Has News About The Theme Of Their New Album

The release date of the new album draws ever nearer and it is time to release more information about the upcoming release.

It may come as a surprise to many Therion fans, but we can now reveal that the coming album will have a purely Christian theme. As Chris himself explains: "I know I previously have rejected monotheistic religions quite strongly. But as you grow older you have to rethink why you believe what you believe, and I cannot really find any strong reasons to reject Christianity anymore. Actually, Christianity has influenced Therion lyrics before and it is not difficult to find Christian references in especially the older Therion albums."

For those of you who have been fans of Therion, Chris is very fond of teasing the Therion fans. He has promised that the first person that can guess the correct link between Sitra Ahra and Christianity will get a special online listening session of the new album as soon as it is finished.

(On Therion Website)

New "Hard Man" Advertising Campaign From Labour

(On Guardian)

Clash Of The Titans Offers A Product Placement Deal To Pork Scratchings Company

Tired of being the forgotten step-child of the snack food industry, Mac’s Pork Skins, hoping to reverse a decades-long trend of eroding market share for pork rinds, has announced a huge product placement deal with Warner Bros new action-adventure Clash of the Titans. The announcement comes on the eve of the 3D film’s release. Said Mac’s new Chief Marketing Office, Seth Goldberg:

“Mac’s Pork Skins have long catered to the snacker who defies convention, says ‘damn the Gods’ of processed corn and wheat snacks, and opts instead for the classic taste of pork skin, the only snack that’s been enjoyed by snackers everywhere continuously since the time of the ancient Greeks. I can’t eat them myself, for religious reasons, but if I did, I’d reach for Mac’s. They’re the porkinest!”

Insiders say editors are hurriedly adding Mac’s Pork Skins to some key Clash scenes via CGI. In addition, Titans star Liam Neeson, who plays Zeus in the film, will appear in character in a few Mac’s spots set to air during the NCAA finals this weekend, in which he’ll loudly declare that we must “RELEASE THE CRACKLIN’S!”

(On Filmdrunk)

Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future

The article includes references to Doctor Who, teabagger's paranoia and H.G. Wells.

A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.
The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.
Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.
Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."
This isn't the first time time-travel has been blamed for mishaps at the LHC. Last year, the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen put forward the hypothesis that the Higgs boson was so "abhorrent" that it somehow caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery.
Professor Brian Cox, a former CERN physicist and full-time rock'n'roll TV scientist, was sympathetic to Mr Cole. "Bless him, he sounds harmless enough. At least he didn't mention bloody black holes."
Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.