![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
philosoraptor42Okay, I'm fed up of hearing how amazing Tim Burton is as a director. He's not an amazing director - he's a hack. His films are all style over substance.
I'm also fed up with films he 'produced' being credited to him. It's all very well if you heard that it was Tim Burton directing and simply made a mistake, but if you know he's a producer, you also know it's not his movie. The producer is someone who puts in the money, not someone responsible for the quality of the movie. Tim Burton didn't make the recent movie "9" and he didn't make "The Nightmare Before Christmas".
Okay, so here's a video where I show just how awful Tim Burton's movies are. I think it ought to be fairly self-explanatory. Nevertheless, I shall explain further below:
So I start with Planet of the Apes. First there's the main character kissing an ape-woman. I don't know how Tim Burton was expecting this to look, but I'm afraid it comes off as bizarre as one would expect it to. Then there's the completely absurd ending. Maybe there's a weird catch 22 that the ending was going to be explained perfectly by a sequel which will never be released because no one understood this endng?
Kevin Smith explains that everyone in the audience was going "wuh?" That's just in case anyone randomly wasn't going 'wuh?' or somehow doesn't feel that they ought to be going 'wuh?' after that last clip.
Batman Returns, oh dear lord. I'm sorry but the creation of The Penguin is beyond daft. I'm sure the way the parents (monopoly guy and his wife) just finish their drinks after watching their son eat a cat is supposed to show how heartless they are, but instead it just shows how utterly stupid the whole scene is. But that pales by comparison to the stupidity of The Penguin's later death where he splutters out something about 'iced water' before being led into the water by penguins. No, it's not stylish and clever, it's just stupid.
Tim Burton apparently claimed that anyone who knows him knows that he would never read a comic book. Yes, that really does explain everything...
Then Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Why worry about the little funny songs by the Oompa Loompas and their relevance to the plot when you can have a song and dance extravaganza instead. Yes, we can tell that they are criticising Violet for "chewing all day long", but we can only tell this because the line is repeated over and over again and not because we've understood the message of the song. The fact is that unless they repeated lines over and over we couldn't possibly understand the song since the lyrics in this version are extremely hard to make out.
Then the dentist scene! I feel very sorry for Christopher Lee who is acting his heart out in this completely stupid scene. Within the context of the actual movie this scene just feels plain wrong. It's just tagged onto the end for the sake of having weird stuff on screen (and yeah, very badly attempting to explain Willy Wonka's fear of parents - oh don't even get me started....)
Then finally I finish with Edward Scissorhands. This is supposedly Burton's big masterpiece: "Before he came... it never snowed... and afterward... it did!" Oh and what does that mean? It means that there are enough bits of ice coming off the ice sculptures he's making to cover the whole town with snow. What??? Oh ffs!
When I ask people about this stuff I am told that the great thing about Burton's movies is that gothic look, but this is precisely my point: the guy can do style, but he can't do substance.
Edit: YAY! Video is now working - Woohoo! Finally!
I'm also fed up with films he 'produced' being credited to him. It's all very well if you heard that it was Tim Burton directing and simply made a mistake, but if you know he's a producer, you also know it's not his movie. The producer is someone who puts in the money, not someone responsible for the quality of the movie. Tim Burton didn't make the recent movie "9" and he didn't make "The Nightmare Before Christmas".
Okay, so here's a video where I show just how awful Tim Burton's movies are. I think it ought to be fairly self-explanatory. Nevertheless, I shall explain further below:
So I start with Planet of the Apes. First there's the main character kissing an ape-woman. I don't know how Tim Burton was expecting this to look, but I'm afraid it comes off as bizarre as one would expect it to. Then there's the completely absurd ending. Maybe there's a weird catch 22 that the ending was going to be explained perfectly by a sequel which will never be released because no one understood this endng?
Kevin Smith explains that everyone in the audience was going "wuh?" That's just in case anyone randomly wasn't going 'wuh?' or somehow doesn't feel that they ought to be going 'wuh?' after that last clip.
Batman Returns, oh dear lord. I'm sorry but the creation of The Penguin is beyond daft. I'm sure the way the parents (monopoly guy and his wife) just finish their drinks after watching their son eat a cat is supposed to show how heartless they are, but instead it just shows how utterly stupid the whole scene is. But that pales by comparison to the stupidity of The Penguin's later death where he splutters out something about 'iced water' before being led into the water by penguins. No, it's not stylish and clever, it's just stupid.
Tim Burton apparently claimed that anyone who knows him knows that he would never read a comic book. Yes, that really does explain everything...
Then Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Why worry about the little funny songs by the Oompa Loompas and their relevance to the plot when you can have a song and dance extravaganza instead. Yes, we can tell that they are criticising Violet for "chewing all day long", but we can only tell this because the line is repeated over and over again and not because we've understood the message of the song. The fact is that unless they repeated lines over and over we couldn't possibly understand the song since the lyrics in this version are extremely hard to make out.
Then the dentist scene! I feel very sorry for Christopher Lee who is acting his heart out in this completely stupid scene. Within the context of the actual movie this scene just feels plain wrong. It's just tagged onto the end for the sake of having weird stuff on screen (and yeah, very badly attempting to explain Willy Wonka's fear of parents - oh don't even get me started....)
Then finally I finish with Edward Scissorhands. This is supposedly Burton's big masterpiece: "Before he came... it never snowed... and afterward... it did!" Oh and what does that mean? It means that there are enough bits of ice coming off the ice sculptures he's making to cover the whole town with snow. What??? Oh ffs!
When I ask people about this stuff I am told that the great thing about Burton's movies is that gothic look, but this is precisely my point: the guy can do style, but he can't do substance.
Edit: YAY! Video is now working - Woohoo! Finally!
